While you would do best to apply the strategies without preference in response to the specific
situation you are facing, doing so is very difficult. A more realistic goal is to gradually broaden your
internal definition of your Preferred Strategy to accommodate behaviors that do not yet come
naturally for you. For example, Eights, whose Preferred Strategy is Striving to be Powerful, tend to
be forceful and aggressive when they are trying to influence others. They may be easily frustrated,
and their frustration may cause them to be loud and intimidating. When they receive feedback that
they need to be less aggressive, Eights often struggle to implement the change because their
current understanding of what it means to be “powerful” tells them that being aggressive is good.
Eights will begin to improve in this area when they are able to broaden their definition of what it
means to be powerful so that it includes less-aggressive behaviors.
As your definitions of your Preferred Strategy expands to include a wider range of behaviors and
attitudes, you move from being efficient (doing things economically and quickly) to being effective
(doing the right things economically and quickly). This broader understanding of the strategy begins
to loosen the strategy’s hold on you and, eventually, the other strategies begin to feel more
comfortable and you find yourself using them more. The peaceful Nine begins to feel more confident
and strives to be outstanding; the detached Five begins to strive to be powerful; and so on.
TABLE 1: The Nine Strategies
Strategies, Influences, and Traits
It is important to understand the difference between strategies, influences, and traits as they are
used in this book.
The discussion of the strategies and each personality type’s unique relationship to them is the only
topic in this book that should be considered to be true in every case. That is, the strategies describe
inner motivations and apply to everyone of that personality type. The strategies can be seen as what
define the personality type—a Four, by definition, strives to be unique; a Six strives to be secure,
etc. If Striving to be Unique is not something that is central to your approach to life, you are not a
Four, even if you have some “Four-ish” traits.
The other sections, such as the Type at a Glance and The Enneagram Emotional Competencies,
describe the general traits and tendencies of each type that apply to most people of that type, but
perhaps not to all people of that type.
Human beings are very complicated creatures and each of us has personality traits that are affected
by a number of environmental influences. These influences include cultural, family, and socio-
economic background; psychological health; emotional intelligence; and so on. These influences
cause us all to act out our strategies in different ways, so people of the same personality type may
exhibit different traits. Some Sixes are loud and aggressive, while others are quiet and timid; all
Sixes, however, are Striving to be Secure. Some Nines are outgoing and assertive, while others are
quiet and withdrawn; but all Nines are Striving to be Peaceful.
Therefore, it is important not to make universal statements about the traits of each type. For
example, many Nines enjoy nature, gardening, and the outdoors; but certainly not all of them do. To
understand the types—both your own and others’—focus on the strategies, and see the traits as
common, but not universal, manifestations of the strategies.
“At Their Best,” “Typically,” and “When Stressed”
Throughout this book we refer to three ways that the personality types appear when they are “at
their best,” “typically,” or “when stressed.”
“At Their Best”
When you are at your best—that is, when you are relaxed, comfortable, and secure— you are less
in the grip of your habitual patterns. You tend to be more flexible, responding naturally and
appropriately to what life brings your way. At your best you are exhibiting the most appropriate
behavior of your personality type and avoiding the pitfalls of your habitual behaviors.
One of the hallmarks of a person at his or her best is balance. For example, the balanced Two is
connected with others but not needy or codependent, assertive but not demanding or manipulative,
and autonomous without feeling isolated or unappreciated. Likewise, the balanced Four is unique
without feeling flawed and misunderstood, he feels content just as he is without feeling the need to
be critical of others, and connected to others without feeling that he must find a sense of wholeness
through another person.
“Typically”
However, if you are like most people you don’t always perform or behave at your best; most of the
time you are in some way affected by your habitual patterns, though not necessarily in negative
ways. In fact, the strategies, even when habitual, often serve you well. The Three who habitually
strives to be outstanding often thrives in the workplace and motivates others through her shining
example; the Nine who strives to be peaceful is often a comforting and reassuring presence in an
organization; and the Eight who strives to be powerful can often push a project through a difficult
time. It is this “most of the time” that is described in the paragraphs on “typical” behavior. The word
“typically,” refers to examples of people who are applying their habitual patterns in ways that are
basically useful but not necessarily optimal.
“When Stressed”
When this book refers to behavior that occurs “when stressed,” it is describing behavior that is
usually counterproductive. Stress causes people to become defensive. When you are defensive you
are quicker to go on autopilot—to unconsciously rely on behaviors and attitudes that you think have
worked for you in the past and that support your sense of who you are. When these strategies don’t
work, stress builds. Rather than stepping back and trying another way to accomplish what you want,
stress causes you to fall further into your old habits and to do them even more, whatever they may
be—becoming more forceful, withdrawing further, or becoming more rigid, etc. Stress causes each
personality type to distort the Preferred Strategy and behave in a specific and predictable way. For
example, stress causes the outstanding Three to become attention seeking and self-centered, the
peaceful Nine to be unresponsive and passive, and the powerful Eight to be uncontrolled and
domineering. It is important to understand the distortion of your Preferred Strategy because it
causes behavior that, if not held in check, will get you into trouble over and over again.
The stress response—overdoing and distorting your Preferred Strategy—often helps you
accomplish your immediate goal, but usually at some price. It may help to draw an analogy using
three different kinds of carpenters. Think of the strategies as tools in a carpenter’s tool belt, and the
three stages of personality (“At Their Best,” Typically,” and “When Stressed”) as three types of
carpenters: an expert carpenter, an average carpenter, and an unskilled carpenter. An expert
carpenter knows that each tool has an appropriate function: a hammer for driving nails, a saw for
cutting wood, a wrench for tightening nuts, etc., and he uses them accordingly. An average
carpenter will favor a particular tool and use it for tasks that it was not particularly designed for, but
for which the tool makes a convenient substitute, such as using a hammer to wedge a board into
place. An unskilled carpenter, however, will become enamored of a particular tool—such as a
hammer—and reflexively reach for that tool each time he faces a task, whether the task is driving a
nail or cutting wood.
A person “at their best” is analogous to the expert carpenter who uses the right tool for the right job,
a person behaving “typically” is like the average carpenter, and a person “when stressed” is like the
unskilled carpenter—the one trying to cut wood with a hammer.
The Preferred Strategy
The strategy adopted by your personality type is called the Preferred Strategy because it is a
preference rather than an absolute fixture. That is, while it is the strategy that you are most
comfortable with, it is not the only one to which you have access. You have access to all of the
strategies to a greater or lesser extent, but try to make life simpler by relying primarily on one of
them.
The Neglected Strategy
As seen on the enneagram, each point is connected to two other points by the internal lines of the
diagram. Each personality type is hampered by a distrust of the strategy found at one of the points
connected to it, tending to focus on the distorted version of that strategy rather than seeing its
value. This distrust causes you to “neglect” the strategy—seeing it as too risky to comfortably
include in the normal behavioral repertoire.
The distrust occurs because the two strategies are in some way contradictory. For example, Fives
prefer the strategy of Striving to be Detached. They see the strategy at Point Eight, Striving to be
Powerful (which implies being assertive and actively engaging in life), as contradicting their desire to
be detached. Fives will tend to focus on how being powerful can lead to being uncontrolled and
neglect that strategy and many of the behaviors associated with it.
This does not mean that you never use the Neglected Strategy. However, you tend to under-use it,
and your personality type colors your application of it when you do use it. The Five may at times
strive to be powerful, but he will do it in a “Five-ish” way. He may prefer to serve as the leader’s
advisor rather than be the actual leader, or he may wield power through the control of information
rather than through force of personality.
Similarly, Ones will focus on the distortion of the strategy found at Point Seven—Striving to be
Excited. Ones strive to be perfect and resist losing their composure and possibly making mistakes.
They therefore see the strategy of Striving to be Excited as a dangerous one and they tend to focus
on its distortion: irresponsibility.
Your ability to grow is greatly enhanced by your willingness to confront and correct this
misunderstanding and become more comfortable with the Neglected Strategy. For example, an Eight
tends to be uncomfortable with the strategy found at Point Two—Striving to be Connected. Rather
than fully benefit from the experience of connecting deeply with others, Eights believe that trying to
do so will make them dependent on others. Thus they tend to keep people at arm’s length, except
for those inside their close circle. They hide their own vulnerabilities under a protective armor of
strength and assertiveness. Eight’s grow when they realize that they can be both powerful and
connected, and that being connected doesn’t necessarily mean that they will be dependent.
…Except when the opposite is true: The Contradiction
To truly understand the interplay between the Preferred Strategy and the Neglected Strategy, it is
important to look at a phenomenon called “the Contradiction.” It is a basic psychological principle
that any quality that is ignored or repressed will be acted out surreptitiously. For example, the
milquetoast office-worker who passively absorbs his boss’s scorn all day may fly into a fit of road
rage on the drive home. In the same way, each personality type will occasionally exhibit the very
traits it is trying to avoid or suppress. The nonconforming Four who strives to be unique will rigidly
expect others to follow rules and guidelines the Four thinks are important—behavior often seen in
Ones. The humble and self-deprecating Nine will find subtle (and sometimes not-so-subtle) ways to
have her demands met.
This contradictory behavior will usually occur in an environment in which the person is comfortable
and secure. Many people will deny and/or be unable to see that this contradictory behavior takes
place because it is out of character with their self-image; others will be more aware of the behavior.
People in this latter group often struggle with identifying with a particular personality type because
they see both sides of their contradictory nature.
The Support Strategy
The second connecting point is called the “Support Strategy” because this particular strategy serves
to reinforce your Preferred Strategy or serve as an alternative response when the Preferred
Strategy is not effective. The Support Strategy can be used to either enhance your effectiveness
when you are at your best or keep you struck right where you are when you are under stress. For
example, Twos use Striving to be Powerful (found at Point Eight) to reinforce being connected. Twos
can do so positively by using their relationships and energy to help others accomplish their goals,
but they can also do it in a negative way by angrily manipulating others to make the changes they
feel the other person should make. Type Three uses peacefulness to reinforce being outstanding by
cultivating an air of effortless grace that bespeaks their ability to be successful, but they may also
hide behind a façade of composure while feeling insecure and seeking cues from others on how to
think, feel, or act.
The Enneagram Emotional Competencies
An emotional competency is a specific capability based on emotional intelligence that makes us more
successful in interacting with your world. The Enneagram Emotional Competencies are a set of 16
emotional competencies that measure emotional intelligence. They are separated into two broad
categories: personal competencies, and social competencies, which are further separated into four
narrower categories: Self-Awareness, Self-Management, Attunement to Others, and Relationship
Building. The personal competencies, such as self-awareness and self-control, relate to our ability to
manage and constructively use our emotions; the social competencies, such as empathy and
communication, relate to our ability to recognize emotional states in others and use the information
to work toward common benefit.
This book explores in depth the strengths and weaknesses of each personality type in relationship to
each of these sixteen emotional competencies—with the goal of improving performance in weaker
competencies.
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Excerpt from "Awareness to
Action"
by Robert Tallon and Mario Sikora
(Scranton Press, June 2006)
The Nine Strategies
Each of the nine points on the Enneagram
represents a strategy for interacting with the
environment that has an influence on personality.
(See Table 1 for definitions of the nine strategies.)
You have access to each of these strategies and,
ideally, would draw upon and apply them when the
situation warrants it. However, when you are stuck in
your habitual personality patterns you tend to rely
on a favored strategy (what we call the Preferred
Strategy) regardless of the situation, believing that
this strategy is the solution to all of your challenges
and problems. The objective of using the
Enneagram is to help you see the limitations of over-
relying on these habitual patterns and to help you
expand your behavioral choices to include more
flexible—and effective—actions.
Action"
by Robert Tallon and Mario Sikora
(Scranton Press, June 2006)
The Nine Strategies
Each of the nine points on the Enneagram
represents a strategy for interacting with the
environment that has an influence on personality.
(See Table 1 for definitions of the nine strategies.)
You have access to each of these strategies and,
ideally, would draw upon and apply them when the
situation warrants it. However, when you are stuck in
your habitual personality patterns you tend to rely
on a favored strategy (what we call the Preferred
Strategy) regardless of the situation, believing that
this strategy is the solution to all of your challenges
and problems. The objective of using the
Enneagram is to help you see the limitations of over-
relying on these habitual patterns and to help you
expand your behavioral choices to include more
flexible—and effective—actions.
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